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CLIMATE CHANGE AND OTHER SMALL TALK:
EPISODE EIGHT: RIDE OR DIE BY TARA BEAGAN
SUNNY DRAKE: You’re listening to Climate Change & Other Small Talk. A worldwide theatrical journey for your ears - minus the carbon footprint and lost luggage. Nine creative teams from around the world share entertaining audio dramas to explore our climate mess. And what could get us out.
Sunny Drake here, your tour guide and series creator. Together we’re off to an Indigenous community in the interior of British Columbia, in rural Canada. This episode was written by Tara Beagan and made by Downstage Theatre. Tara is an all-round theatrical shape shifter – playwright, actor, director. She won the top playwriting prize in Canada. And on top of that, she manages to be a totally wonderful human.
Over the previous episodes, we’ve been on an epic journey around the world and seen many impacts on different communities. Dealing with the climate crisis is a long slog and it’s going to take a lot for us to get active and continue to stay active. So how do communities cultivate resilience and vision in the face of worsening climate impacts?
We can all learn a lot from our next stop, listening to Ride or Die by Tara Beagan.
[LIGHT PIANO MUSIC]
[FAINT CHATTER IN THE DISTANCE]
MUMS: Hey, Win. Didn't you win that game yet?
WIN: I'm workin' on it, Grams. "It's more about the winning than the playing."
MUMS: I'll take your word on that.
WIN: Grams, that's what you said when you taught me! You said "Find the Lady is are different than bingo. With bingo, it's more about the playing than the winning."
MUMS: Ah! Wise words. But I still win.
[MUMS AND WIN BOTH LAUGH]
WIN: 'K. Ready for you to try.
MUMS: Oh. My eyesight isn't what it was.
WIN: Okay, but we could make it worth your while. I know you like a good bet.
MUMS: Naw, I'm not gonna take your money. Okay. But come a bit closer down the bench, here.
WIN: "Bench" is a generous term.
MUMS: Well, come closer on this plywood on two buckets, then.
[MUMS AND WIN BOTH LAUGH]
WIN: Okay. See the lady?
[SHUFFLING CARDS]
MUMS: You should have those cards a bit more curved. Damn I shoulda grabbed my cards when we evacuated!
WIN: Wull. I think I’ve gotten pretty good with this curve for now.
MUMS: Okay. I see the Queen of Hearts. Nice pick.
WIN: Okay! You see the lady. One, two, three. Keep your eye on the Lady.
[SHUFFLING CARDS. ETHEREAL MUSIC. SHUFFLING GETS MORE INTENSE.]
WIN: Keep your eye on the Lady. Ooooo hoo hoo! There she goes, where she stops, nobody knows. Eye on the Lady. She'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she comes. Eye on the Lady. Wah cha!
[ETHEREAL MUSIC ENDS.]
MUMS: Those were good sayings, bebes. Nice pizazz.
WIN: Thanks, Grams. Where's the Lady?
MUMS: You threw her off that side of the bench at the very start.
WIN: Oh, man!
MUMS: You gotta be faster than that if you wanna pull a fast one on me.
WIN: Dang, I thought I really got that move down.
MUMS: Keep practicing. They'll invite you into those hand games before you know it. At some point, Win, your name’s gotta kick in.
WIN: Show me again, Grams, how you do it.
MUMS: If I show you again I'd just undermine your confidence anyway. Ruin your delicate adolescent self esteem.
[MUMS AND WIN BOTH LAUGH]
MUMS: Keep practicing. You been working the up the sleeve?
WIN: Yup!
MUMS: Guess we should teach you some more old games, innit? Doesn't look like we'll be going back home anytime soon. Back to our houses and screens.
WIN: Be nice if they'd run power to the tents, at least. Chief and council's always hogging the plug in stations. "Hey, our work doesn't stop just because the flood took our computers!"
MUMS: Heh! Hey, guess what? We all see you've been on facebook all day!
MUMS: Hey, do that one he said yesterday.
WIN: “Back in my grandfather's day, chief and council didn't even have computers. I thank Creator for this pocket computer right here in my hand! Helps me serve my community in a good way.”
[MUMS AND WIN BOTH LAUGH]
MUMS: We're too hard on them, I guess. They're doing their best.
WIN: I guess.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
MUMS: Shoulda been here seventeen minutes ago.
WIN: You wanna wait inside for a bit?
MUMS: In that big tent with everyone breathing and complaining? No.
WIN: Seems like we been waiting for almost an hour.
MUMS: Well, ya. We got here on time, which is half an hour early. Plus them being late - that's forty seven minutes we been sitting here. Forty-eight.
WIN: I'll take your word on that.
MUMS: I know you will, bebes.
[BAG OPENING]
MUMS: Here. Have a chicken bone. Keep your gambling energy up.
WIN: Where do you even get those candies? They're from, like, the eighties or something.
MUMS: You don't have to have one.
WIN: No, no! I like them!
[SOUND OF WIN TAKING CANDY]
WIN: Thanks, Gramsey. Lemme know if you want to go inside, k? Or we can even take you back to your tent if you like.
MUMS: Nope. First one on, first one off.
WIN: No one would take your seat, Grams.
MUMS: You know they would. I win every time I play, and they don't like that. Even if it's just four corners, they cut their eyes at me for that measly ten bucks. Think if they park their flat butts in my chair my luck will rub off on them. As if!
WIN: Millie and Iris?
MUMS: Witch's tit sisters.
WIN [LAUGHING]:They're the only people I ever hear you talk smack about, Gramsey. Well. Them and council. Everyone talks smack about council.
MUMS: Tell you what, I'll say nice things about them the first time I ever hear one of them say one nice thing about anyone. How 'bout that?
WIN: I don't care! Makes me feel less guilty when I think bad stuff about someone who was mean. Knowing that you have your Tit sisters to hate on.
MUMS: "Hate" is a strong word.
WIN: It's just an expression.
MUMS: I don't hate anyone. Just wouldn't have them over for coffee or whatever. I still bring them squares and that when someone in their family passes, I just... want my lucky spot at bingo and don't want anyone begrudging me that.
WIN: I wouldn't let anyone take your spot.
MUMS: C'mere for a grandma smush.
WIN: Uuuugh you're stronger than you look!
[MUMS PATTS WIN LOUDLY ON THE BACK]
MUMS: Oh, you're a good kid. We're all so lucky to have you.
WIN: Mom's gonna be mad we went into town without telling her.
MUMS: I haven't been to bingo in six weeks. And she knows it.
WIN: Haven't been anywhere in six weeks! And anyways, she doesn't want you to miss bingo. She'd take you herself if we'd gotten outta there with the car. It's probably washed out to the ocean by now. Do cars float?
MUMS: Not one with that many holes in it. And anyway, we left a note with Cook, so your mom will find out in a jiffy where we're at.
WIN: "Hey, hey, hey! What's new, what's new? Gimme the hot goss and I'll trade you coffee, tea, stew?"
MUMS: Cook won't rest until he finds out who won the six forty-nine, and she's been in town all day. He'll be on her like a mountain lion.
WIN: On a mountain goat.
MUMS: That's right.
WIN: Does the note say we're going into town on the clinic shuttle?
MUMS: Well, yeah. It is the clinic shuttle.
WIN: Well... yeah. But we're not going to the clinic.
MUMS: Nobody taking the shuttle today will be going to the clinic. Everyone knew as soon as they added it to the schedule that it's the bingo shuttle. 'Tswhy they waited so long to give us the darn thing.
WIN: I know, but... Mom's been bugging you to get a check up since before the flood.
MUMS: I feel fine.
WIN: But you have those blurry spots in your vision.
MUMS: What doesn't kill me makes me better at bingo.
[WIN LAUGH]
MUMS: If I go blind my hearing will become so sharp.
[HOLLOW PLASTIC BINGO BALLS START JUMPING AROUNDIN THEIR AIR POWERED BARREL]
WIN: You'll have another super-power.
MUMS: Those bingo balls will be whispering out at me. As soon as a ball lands in the hopper I'll be able to tell which one it is before the caller even picks it up to read it.
[BINGO BALL LANDING IN A SELECTION SOCKET. OTHER BALLS STILL JUMPING.]
WIN DOING AN IMITATION OF A TINY BINGO BALL: "Guinevere, it's me! G forty-seven!"
MUMS: And I will hear that, true as an old friend, and - DAB! and - BINGO! before the number's even been called.
WIN: And when the card lady comes over to check if that's a good bingo, the Tit sisters will just be staring real hard and muttering "Iris? You seen that?" "I seen it alright, Millie."
MUMS: And the caller will quietly say "G... forty seven?"
WIN: And right when someone else starts to call out a bingo, the card lady will yell "That's a good bingo!"
MUMS: And the Tit sisters will swallow their dentures.
Win and Grams laugh.
MUMS: Wonder if Cook has any news about the shuttle being late.
WIN: I can see 'im from here. He's at the cook tent grilling his helper. Just got back from town with groceries.
MUMS: He won't rest until he finds out. Ten million. And that ticket could be just stuck on someone's fridge. Unawares.
WIN: Did you want to talk to 'im? I can get 'im. Or just go ask.
MUMS: Oh, nah. I'm just bein' impatient. Nosey. I just hope they haven't changed their minds about the clinic shuttle altogether. Too long here, everyone within sniffing distance.
WIN: Maybe mom won the ten million.
MUMS: Your mom?
WIN: Yeah.
MUMS: That would be something, innit? The Tit sisters would have a bird.
[WIN CLUCKS LIKE A CHICKEN]
MUMS: You better be careful with your play acting! Someone's gonna recognize themself.
WIN: What would you do if you won the lottery, Grams?
MUMS: First thing... I'd rebuild. For all of us.
WIN: Even for Iris and Millie?
MUMS: Even them Witches' Tits. Somewheres that won't flood.
WIN: Or burn.
MUMS: That's right. Who's that one guy you did your science fair project about last year? That smart Blackfoot builder. Or was he Ojibwe?
WIN: Both! Douglas Cardinal. He's an architect.
MUMS: Ya, we'd hire him to make us all those kinds of houses that are good for us. For the earth. And those houses would be all in a circle. So, we can all keep an eye on the kids playing outside.
WIN: You think kids will still play outside when we can charge our phones so easy again? Watch TV?
MUMS: I do. I think this time has changed us forever. So that maybe we're ready.
WIN: For what?
MUMS: This rebuilt community. Which is actually based on old ways. Now, though, the version of those old things are real fancy.
[ETHERAL MUSIC UNDERNEATH MUMS FANTASY]
MUMS: White hippie fancy. We'll have those windmills and sun panels for electricity. And we'd all have gardens and be smart about things. We won't even need a dump or anything. We'd always be making new things out of old things. Like back in my Gramsey's day.
WIN: I wanna see that.
MUMS: And then at the same time I'd see about our cousins all across the country. Them ones who've been boiling their water for twenty years and that. Make sure they have water. You know? At least water, for heckssakes!
WIN: Ya, for real.
MUMS: Can't wait for Indian affairs to do nothing. Been waiting.
WIN: Now they're called "Indigenous and Northern Affairs."
[ETHEREAL MUSIC STOPS.]
MUMS: And still with a white guy in charge. "Indian Affairs" was more honest.
WIN: Yeah. Keep your eye on the lady. She's light as a breeze, quick as a sneeze!
[SHUFFLING CARDS.]
MUMS: Good one! Always takes about a hundred years for white folks to hear anything we say. Or more, if listening means losing money.
[A CAR HONKING FAR AWAY]
MUMS: Oh! There we go.
MUMS: Thank you, bebes. Not too heavy?
WIN: Nope!
MUMS: Hopefully this new midday Monday bus is a keeper.
WIN: Should just call it the Bingo Bus.
MUMS: Can't. "Optics." Wouldn't get funded if it's not an "essential service."
WIN: Bull pucky.
MUMS: That's right.
WIN: Oh.
MUMS: What is it, bebs?
WIN: That isn't... it's not the shuttle bus. It's red.
MUMS: Looks like a big bus.
WIN: Yeah, but it's red. Not the yellow school one they usually send.
MUMS: Oh, what next? I bet they're gonna charge us, now. 'Cause someone wanted a paint job. Indians don't pay taxes my heinie.
WIN: Guess we're about to find out.
[BUS PULLS OVER. DOOR HISSES OPEN. BIRDS CHIRPING. LACEY HILL IS PLAYING ON THE RADIO.]
MICHELLE: Hey, you thugs goin' my way?
WIN: Mom!
MUMS: Shelly? Whatchoo doing with a big red bus?
WIN: You're not at work.
MICHELLE: Well. Couldn't let my Mums miss bingo anymore.
MUMS: What kind of a bus is this? It looks like a rocket ship.
MICHELLE: It's electric.
WIN: White hippie fancy.
MUMS: That's right.
MICHELLE: Look at the flowers on the side there, mums. "Guinevere!"
MUMS: They spell my name!
MUMS: How did you...? How is...?
WIN: Mom! What the heck is going on?
MICHELLE: Last week the morning shuttle was taking us into town. Up the road I could see there was a car pulled over. Hood up, blinkers on. The driver barely even slowed down as we passed it and I'm screaming at him to stop. Could see it was our people in the car, you know? Two Indians sitting up front, looking pretty defeated.
[GARBLED RADIO. BIG DIESEL BUS CHUGGING ALONG A GRAVEL ROAD. SOUND OF TIME TRAVEL BACK ONE WEEK.]
MICHELLE: Hey! I mean it! Those are cousins in there and they need a hand!
DRIVER: Sorry, lady. I got a schedule to keep.
MICHELLE: Your damn schedule is not as important as people in need, now pull over or I'll jump out!
[SOUND OF TIME TRAVEL BACK TO THE PRESENT.]
MUMS: (in present day) Geez, Michelle, that's dramatic.
MICHELLE: Well, he was being rude.
WIN: Bad ass, mom!
MICHELLE: Thank you. So he finally pulls over.
[TIME TRAVEL MUSIC. LONG SLOW HISSING BRAKING OF A BIG BUS.]
MICHELLE: To hell with your schedule. I'm taking your damn keys! Learn some manners!
MICHELLE: Heyas! Youse need a ride?
STRESSED OUT WOMAN: Oh, bless your boots!
[TIME TRAVEL MUSIC BACK TO THE PRESENT]
MUMS: Well, they obviously hadn't planned to spend the day as they were.
MICHELLE: That's right! So, we get them on the bus. Turns out they were headed into town for that one woman's dialysis. She has to go three times a week. They'd been stuck there for two hours, and we were the first passers by that stopped!
MUMS: Unreal.
MICHELLE: The woman driving said one truck went by real slow, and when they got a look at them, they hit the gas and peeled out. And her mom sitting there, seventy-eight years old!
MUMS: Assholes.
WIN: That's right.
MICHELLE: So, she's so happy we stopped. The driver was pissed at me, and even some of ours were bitching and moaning about showing up for work late. Well, I got out with the lady and her mom at the first stop and we called a taxi from there and got her to her dialysis. Late, but at least she got there, you know? I mean, geez!
MUMS: C'mere for a mums smush.
MICHELLE: Aw.
MUMS: We're all so lucky to have you, Shelly.
[ETHEREAL MUSIC SWELLS THEN STOPS]
MICHELLE: Thanks, mom. But, you know? Who raised these people who drive right by a woman and her elderly mom on a side road?
MUMS: Where were they from?
MICHELLE: They're from the coast, but they can't take the detour home because they don't have their passports on them!
MUMS: Terrible.
MICHELLE: So they've been staying with friends a couple hours from the hospital.
WIN: So... how does this story end up in a red bus?
MICHELLE: Right! So, we get them safely to the hospital and me and the woman who was driving-
MUMS: The daughter.
MICHELLE: -go over to the cafeteria for a bite. You know how the morning bus gets me into town waaaay too early.
MUMS: Only bus there is. No choice!
MICHELLE: No choice. So, we talk and talk about the floods and mudslides and the fires and the way our bands have dealt with it, and the way the government doesn't deal with it, and all the things we'd do different if we were in charge. We laugh and cry and just really have a nice visit.
MUMS: That's so nice.
MICHELLE: And then I gotta head to work. So we have a biiiig hug and she says "Geez, you're my guardian angel. I'm so lucky you came along." and I said "You should buy a lottery ticket."
WIN: And she did!
MICHELLE: Yup.
MUMS: And she won!
MICHELLE: Yup!
WIN: And she bought you a bus?
MICHELLE: She bought us all a bus! Funny thing - we forgot to get each others' names, but we'd both talked about our moms. How our women have always been the ones sticking up for this earth. The waters. How our women are the ones who hold all the knowledge that would heal this planet. How if anyone just listened to the grandmothers, everything would be different.
WIN AND MUMS: Dang rights.
MICHELLE: But this lady knew where I worked, so she special ordered buses for all the communities who've had to move. Set up temporary camps. She had names of grandmothers painted on the side of each of them. And she sent ours to my work this morning.
WIN: And work just let you leave?
MICHELLE: Oh, heck no. I left. This lady - whose name is also Michelle, by the way - is funding a fleet of drivers for the Grannie buses. Three drivers per community, so we can take eight-hour shifts and have plenty of runs. Even once we've rebuilt, the buses can be for Elders and moms who need the travel. And kids who want to go to school in town. And every year, we plan to meet at the pow wow. Circle our wagons and have a great time!
MUMS: That's wonderful, Shelley. But to tell you the truth, if I'd had my way, I would want Win's name on the bus. Because all that really matters are the young ones.
MICHELLE: That's exactly why your name is the right one to have on the Grannie fleet, mom.
WIN: That's right.
MICHELLE: And anyway, we named Win after you, so his name is wrapped up inside that flowery "Guinevere," too!
MUMS: C'mere so we have a family smush.
[THEY ALL LAUGH]
MICHELLE: We are all so very lucky to have you.
MUMS: Alright. Hugs and love all around - let's get to bingo!
MICHELLE: You'll see your name again, up front. That's your seat. Forever. Right behind the driver.
MUMS: My favourite!
MICHELLE: I'll go tell everyone about their new ride.
MUMS: Michelle?
MICHELLE: Yes, mumsa?
MUMS: Tell that Millie and Iris... tell them they get first choice of seats on the drive in. Except for mine, of course.
MICHELLE: Alright, Mum.
[SOUND OF FAINT CHATTER IN THE DISTANCE]
WIN: Here comes Cook.
MUMS: Nothing gets past that guy.
WIN: Well, Gramsey? Shall we?
MUMS: Let's do it, bebes.
WIN: Oh, wait! Shoot. I can't find my cards. Where the heck...?
MUMS: What's that right there?
WIN: Where? You see them?
MUMS: C'mere. Right there. Behind your ear.
MUMS: Ta daaaa!
WIN: How the heck?
MUMS: Gotta keep your eye on the lady.
WIN: Gramsey, you're magical.
MUMS: And you're my lucky charm, Win. C'mon.
[CLIMBING UP STAIRS INTO THE BUS]
MUMS: Oooo, nice and roomy! Maybe should get my name put on all these seats all around here, so's to get a bit of peace and quiet.
[WIN LAUGHS]
[LACEY HILL’S LOVE WINS PLAYS OUT.]
SUNNY DRAKE: That was episode 8 of Climate Change & Other Small Talk, “Ride or Die” . Written by: Tara Beagan and Directed by: Patrick Beagan
If you’ve got ride or die friends or family - invite them to experience this series with you. Use your socials to blast it out to everyone - you can follow us on facebook: Sunny Drake Productions and on instagram: sunny underscore drake. Sunny is spelt like the day: s-U-n-n-y.
Or gather folks together for a listening party in your living room or your class or community centre. Check out our Take Action web page for resources on how to do that at climate change and other small talk dot com. You can also subscribe to our newsletter which dives into each episode.
And please rate this podcast - it helps other people find it.
The next episode is our final one! So sad, I know. Join us when eleven year old, Nate, is dragged on a mysterious road trip by his father through Eastern Canada.
DAD: Why you dressed like that anyway?
NATE: I fell asleep last night practicing my lines for the Jungle Book.
DAD: You mean The Lion King.
NATE: The Jungle Book.
DAD: You been drinkin’?
NATE: What?
DAD: You smokin’?
NATE: Dad!
DAD: ‘Cause even I know ain’t no Simba in The Jungle Book.
NATE: Well there is now.
DAD: Since when.
NATE: Since Mom told off the music teacher.
DAD: For what?
[ TRUCK STOPS ABRUPTLY.]
DAD & NATE: Racism.
SUNNY DRAKE: You’ll hear what all of this has to do with taking action on climate change.
Today’s episode, “Ride or Die” starred:
Dustin Frank as Win
Tracey Nepinak as Mums
Michelle Thrush as Michelle
Sound design and music composition by: Maddie Bautista
Episode Produced by: Downstage Theatre with support from Sunny Drake Productions
Recording engineer and Dialogue Editor: Brian Bergum
Artistic Director for Downstage: Clare Preuss
Managing Director for Downstage and Episode Producer: Danielle Whyte
Associate Producer for Downstage: Bianca Miranda
Community Programs Director for Downstage: Elsha Yeyesuswork
Production Manager and Technical Director for Downstage: Adam Kostiuk
Special thanks to Lacey Hill for the use of her song “Love Wins,” and to Downstage’s funders: Canada Council for the Arts, Alberta Foundation for the Arts, Calgary Arts Development and the Rozsa Foundation. And made with the generous support of ACTRA.
And the series Climate Change & Other Small Talk is:
Created by me, Sunny Drake
Produced by Sunny Drake Productions in association with Why Not Theatre
Lead Producers: Fanny Martin and Najla Nubyanluv
Concept Dramaturg: Kevin Matthew Wong
Impact Producer & Climate Dramaturg: Chaprece Henry
Communications Producer: Daniela Gerstmann
Central Audio Producers: Heather Brown & Richard Feren
Special thanks to our series funding bodies: Canada Council for the Arts, Toronto Arts Council and Ontario Arts Council. And to so many others who you can check out on the website. It truly does take a village to raise a podcast.
In the spirit of reconciliation, the Downstage team acknowledges that they live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy - including the Siksika, Piikani and Kainai First Nations, the Tsuut’ina First Nation, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, including the Bearspaw, Chiniki and Wesley Nations. This is also home to the Métis Nation (Region number 3), and all people who make their homes in Moh’kinsstis and the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.
I can’t wait to share our final episode with you next, and before then, see you on our website and newsletter, climate change and other small talk dot com. That’s climate change A-N-D other small talk dot com. Thanks for joining us.