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CLIMATE CHANGE AND OTHER SMALL TALK:
EPISODE SEVEN: TO THE BEST OF THE BEAST BY KRISHNEE BHOTOOA
SUNNY DRAKE: You’re listening to Climate Change & Other Small Talk. A worldwide theatrical journey for your ears - minus the carbon footprint and lost luggage. Nine creative teams from around the world share entertaining audio dramas to explore our climate mess. And what could get us out.
I’m Sunny Drake, up here piloting our carbon-neutral solar powered worker-owned balloon
[HOT AIR BALLOON TAKING OFF]
SUNNY DRAKE: All the way to Port Louis, Mauritius for an episode written by Krishnee Bhotooa and made by Caudan Arts Centre. Krishnee is the coolest teacher who fell into the magic of theatre and now leads a double life: teacher by day, playwright by night.
At our previous destination, we saw how seemingly positive steps can backfire if they’re not accompanied by deeper change. Our next story continues on that theme, this time from a lens of climate justice. Think about all the existing power imbalances between different groups of people. Well, this makes some communities - or some people within communities - more vulnerable to climate impacts than others. And so how do we make sure climate solutions are equitable?
We’ll find out more in a political-satire-come-fable with a toad, peahen, tortoise and ant. Because, why not.
This is To Best the Beast by Krishnee Bhotooa.
[COUNTRY BANJO PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND]
ANT: My name is Ant and in the animal kingdom, I am seldom noticed until I suddenly appear near someone’s food which my fellow friends think I am going to steal. The position I have, which is that of “Personal Assistant” seems nice but what I really am is a pushover. I used to live in a beautiful place but my family and I were compelled to leave our home because of a green energy construction project. Last night, there was a flash flood that wiped out my parents’ new home. I should be there supporting my parents but here I am, brown nosing in the office of Mrs. Peahen compiling information on that ‘Green Energy Storage’ project. That idea is doing more harm than good. When asked if I could have a day off, my boss diplomatically replied: “The only thing that could excuse an absence would be death; that of the employee of course”. Oh no, it’s already 9.
[DOOR OPENING. FOOTSTEPS DOWN A HALL. THUD.]
TOAD: I want these to be read by twelve. I need a report. Mrs. Peahen’s orders.
ANT: You are not my boss, Mayor Toad!
TOAD: Well, I am your boss’s friend, so I am also your boss…
ANT: A friend my foot! More of a bootlicker!
TOAD: What did you say?
ANT: Euuhhhh by twelve, I hope you mean midnight?
TOAD: You lazy brat! I need it by noon…
ANT: But I am already working on something. The Energy Storage…I won’t have time…
[DOOR OPENING]
PEAHEN: No time?
ANT: Good morning Madam! Pleased to see you…
PEAHEN: I was given this amazing contract because of the government’s trust in me. I feel like the whole world is on my head and you dare to tell me you don’t have time?
ANT: But don’t you have to be at the launch of ‘Green energy storage’ facility
PEAHEN: I will once I get the caffeine in…Not that horrible thing you make Ant. I almost died last week because of that salty beverage.
ANT: I told you. I really don’t know who put salt in that coffee.
TOAD [laughing]: Put salt in coffee? Who would think of doing that? You must have mistaken salt for sugar Ant…You look stupid enough to do that…
PEAHEN: I feel this event will be a huge hit. Mayor Toad. You will accompany me. You have to be there too Ant, standing with my blueberry smoothie and a sandwich.
ANT: A sandwich with?
PEAHEN: Oh, you have a brain Ant. Something exotic, something that matches my personality…
Mr. TOAD: And Ant, remember…deadline is noon…get moving
[FOOTSTEPS DOWN THE HALL. DOOR SLAM]
ANT: I had my fun by adding salt to your coffee…That certainly matched your personality…What about a dose of strychnine this time?
[SMOOTH JAZZ MUSIC INTO CROWD NOISE]
ANT: My horrible boss barely has time to read the papers. Instead of being celebrated, the Green Energy Storage project is at the heart of controversy. There has been a massive hue and cry by environmental activists who are calling out the sheer hypocrisy of the decision. Meant to be a huge effort to mitigate the effects of climate change, a huge portion of land has been cleared and ants and tortoises have been compelled to leave their homes. My family had to leave as well. It seems that animal displacement is the price to pay for green practices. Additionally, deforestation occasioned soil erosion leading to flashfloods; the reason that made my parents homeless. On top of being displaced, they have lost their home yet again. Oh I can hear something….
[CROWD GETS LOUDER]
PEAHEN: Ladies and gentlemen….
CROWD [CHANTING]: Our trees! Our home! Our trees! Our home!!
ANT: Oh boy! My boss, interrupted as he is about to give his speech. Thought I’d never get to see that. Am I nasty for wishing to see him squirm like a worm? I just love a good party pooper. Let us wait for the axe to fall.
PEAHEN [aside to the mayor of the town]: What is that supposed to mean Mayor? This is MY moment!!!
TOAD: I had no idea this would happen Ma’am!!
PEAHEN: You need to watch out for any problem that might come my way…That is your job!
TOAD: Of course! I am at your service Ma’am…I would never allow a fly to harm the person who gave me my hand-stitched shoes…not even by accident…
PEAHEN: There is only one solution…we have to use the most powerful weapon of all…the tongue…
[BUZZING FLY. TOAD LAPS IT UP WITH HIS TONGUE]
TOAD: That’s great…[munching sounds]….I….am…an expert [swallows]
PEAHEN: Thankfully, I’ll be using mine… Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our event. This is a happy occasion…
[BOOS FROM THE CROWD]
TORTOISE: As the representative of our group, let me tell you that happiness is very far from our minds Sir. Because of the supposedly innovative ‘Green Energy Storage’ project, trees are being cut down. Our trees, our lifelines gone, our fellow animals forced to move…
PEAHEN: In case you haven’t noticed, this is a green project which will benefit society at large…
TORTOISE: Who said anything about being against sustainability? We are all for it…But why should it be at the cost of animals losing their homes… The previous generation’s delay to react has forced radical decision but again why should ant and tortoise families have to move? I bet you didn’t contemplate bulldozing your own mansion to build your beloved energy storage…
PEAHEN: What do you mean?
TORTOISE: I mean why are ants and tortoises forever browbeaten? Why are our homes destroyed? Why are decisions made to our detriment? Are we expendable to you?
[CROWD ROARS IN AGREEMENT]
PEAHEN: This project is the future…Using surplus renewable energy to…For that to happen, nature had to…. Ant!!!!
[CROWD GETS LOUDER]
TORTOISE: Ant? Your sight must be as bad as your decision-making. I am a tortoise!
PEAHEN: Yes, absolutely! Ant is my much-appreciated assistant who has got all the facts. He will be delighted to provide all the details! Ant!!!!!!!! I can’t see him!
ANT: In your dreams Ma’am! Hahaha! Deal with this alone lady! Being small does have advantages. Take this for my poor parents who lost their homes. Some of my bird friends who saw their trees being uprooted, their nests destroyed.
TORTOISE: Well, it seems that you are alone on this one! Okay forget about the future. Let’s talk about now… The flash flood that wiped out many homes last night. You encourage deforestation which results in soil erosion. As a consequence, flashfloods have intensified destroying homes in vulnerable areas. As if that weren’t enough, areas considered safe so far have also become the prey of floods. What about that?
PEAHEN: Well, the end justifies the means. We want a greener and more sustainable world. Sacrifices are inevitable. To gain something, we have to lose something else…Does that make sense?
[CROWD BOOS]
TORTOISE: So let me summarise this…You want to cut down trees, destroy the landscape causing displacement and erosion for a renewable energy storage project that will be eco-friendly…The plan is to destroy nature to save it, right? That sure makes a lot of sense. But one question remains: Why wasn’t your house bulldozed?
PEAHEN: Well, your land had more potential than mine.
[CROWD GETS LOUD AND ANGRY]
PEAHEN: On my property, there is a monument that dates back to the 1800s? It is a cultural heritage. It is illegal to run a bulldozer over it. Plus do you think I have time to do a post-mortem of everything we do?
TORTOISE: Yeah surely not…
PEAHEN: Ecology and progress can cohabit…We need to move fast…
[STONE THROWN FROM THE CROWD HITS PEAHEN’S BODY]
PEAHEN: Ouch!
TORTOISE: Oh what a fall Peahen…This is what usually happens when we rush…We run headlong into disaster…
PEAHEN: We fall only to rise again…Ouch!!!What do you think Mayor?
[UNRULY CROWD]
TOAD: Euuhhhh…what?
PEAHEN: What I am saying is true….Right???
TOAD: Of course Madam!
PEAHEN: Now let us get on with our work!!! Please do not disturb us! Security!!!!
BODYGUARDS: Get going!!! Get going!!! Right now!!!
CROWD: Wait! We are not done yet!! [chanting] WE WANT ANSWERS! WE WANT ANSWERS! WE WANT ANSWERS! BOOOOOOOOOO!
[CROWD NOISES DIE DOWN]
PEAHEN: Mayor, I know your brain does not count for much but try to keep up with what I say…I say things and you validate them…You don’t daydream on duty…
TOAD: When am I on duty Madam?
PEAHEN: What do you mean?
TOAD: What is work? Is following your orders work? Or fulfilling my duties as Mayor? It’s really confusing. I think I need a holiday…
PEAHEN: Don’t anger me, Mayor! Those activists already have with their drama. Making as if we are sitting on a volcano about to erupt. With their drought, their flood….
TOAD: Well, that’s not an issue…for me at least…
PEAHEN: How’s that?
TOAD: I am an amphibian!
[SMOOTH JAZZ MUSIC. SAXOPHONE. BUZZING CICADAS.]
PEAHEN: Why are we still here? My feet feel like overcooked spaghetti…I am melting Toad…
TOAD: We need to stay for the press conference. Click pictures and look good. Your species is so fragile…
PEAHEN: EX-CU-SE ME?
TOAD: No I didn’t mean that as an insult Madam! I could never… I meant that you are…delicate…like fine porcelain…euhhh expensive fine porcelain!
PEAHEN: Then I guess you are like canvas…cheap and dull…
TOAD: But durable…
PEAHEN: Shut up Toad! I am famished, thirsty and this sun is not helping…Where is ant? Ant!!!!!
[SNORING]
PEAHEN: Ant!!!!
[LOUDER SNORING]
PEAHEN: Ant!!!!
ANT: What? What is it? Oh no! I fell asleep. Great! The activists are gone, I failed to give my boss her lunch on time and I have to face both her anger and that of her hypocrite friend, Mrs. Toad. Well I got to go...Before she loses her voice…
ANT: Maaaam!!!
PEAHEN: There you are, you fool… My lunch, my smoothie?
ANT: Thank God you are alright! Some activists were trying to sneak their way in…to sabotage your press conference but I threatened them…and they ran away…
TOAD: Sure, you did…Since you are practically invisible, they only heard your voice and mistook you for a ghost…and took off…
ANT: That’s suuuuchhh a good joke… really funny…Oh Madam! The blue in your feathers is growing dull…here is your sandwich and smoothie…
PEAHEN: Finally! [Munching sounds]…Oh I feel better already…now I need a cooler weather…
TOAD: Oh Maam! I am reading a terrific book!
ANT [aside]: Here we go again. Another round of nonsense. Just wait for it. He will share this incredible recipe for success that seems to work for everyone except the ones who really need help. Chance to show off a talent he does not possess or knowledge he half understood…
PEAHEN: What about your book?
TOAD: Apparently, what we imagine actually happens in real life. We just need to practise and ‘bang’ it appears… It’s called the ‘visual activity’
ANT: That fool probably means ‘visualisation activity’…
PEAHEN: Ah…interesting. How does that work?
TOAD: Oh we can try right now…You wanted a cooler atmosphere…let us manifest rain…
TOAD: C’mon close your eyes Madam. I will do that too. Imagine a drop of water falling on your burning skin.
[DROPLETS HITTING THE GROUND]
PEAHEN: Oh Toad! That’s incredible. I felt it on my beak. Wow! It actually works.
[RAIN AND THUNDER]
TOAD: I can feel water pooling around my feet. Quite quickly in fact!
ANT: Maaaam! Maaaam!!!
PEAHEN: What is it?
ANT: The water!
PEAHEN: Yes, I can see the water…It’s all around us…Oh God! Toad!!! Toad!!! Open your eyes. There is water all around us.
TOAD: Told you it worked…Wait a minute! Did you visualise a flood? We are going to drown!!
PEAHEN: Toad, you are an amphibian!
[HEAVY RAIN. THUNDER.]
TOAD: I will survive but my hand-stitched shoes won’t! Ant!
ANT: Yeessss M-m-maddamm!
TOAD: Hold these shoes!
PEAHEN: Yes, make yourself useful. Hold my smoothie. Get the car. We are leaving this place… Burning heat at one and heavy rain at two. We should sue Mother Nature!
TOAD: Well, that’s what we call a flash flood.
ANT: MAAAAAM!!]…Hel…Please…
[GURGLING NOISES]
TOAD: Oh no Ant! My hand-stitched shoes!!!
PEAHEN: My smoothie!!!
[ANT GASPING FOR AIR]
PEAHEN: Well, Ant was a really good assistant…But I guess now…Oh God no!
TOAD: What is it?
PEAHEN: You see that bird sitting on that branch? That’s Miss Hummingbird, a well-known journalist and she is staring at us and clicking pictures. I will have to save that foolish assistant of mine after all! And if you want good publicity Toad, you will help me!
TOAD & PEAHEN IN UNISON: Hang in there Ant! We are coming!
[SMOOTH JAZZ MUSIC]
[UPBEAT BANJO MUSIC]
ANT: So, I survived. Everything was over in one hour. One minute, I felt my feet touching the clouds and the next I was yanked back into the present. As I was carried to a dry spot, my boss expressed the desire to murder me after the departure of the press. Right now, Mrs. Peahen and Mr. Toad are garnering praise from the press for their heroic act. I will be called soon to express my everlasting gratitude towards my boss.
[DOOR OPENS]
Peacock: Ant! It’s your turn!
ANT: What do I need to do?
PEAHEN: Play the victim. We need the sympathy of the public. Say how you felt when your magnanimous boss came to your rescue, how weak you felt…
ANT: That shouldn’t be too hard…
PEAHEN: Oh dear…That flash flood could not have happened at a better moment! After the conference, include a party in next week’s upcoming events, will you Ant?
ANT: Using natural disasters to satisfy political agendas. Well, I didn’t see that coming.
PEAHEN: Hurry up! We are all waiting for you!
[DOOR OPENING]
PEAHEN: Ant! It’s this way!
ANT: I am done with this.
PEAHEN: Ant, I will sack you. Do you get me? Get back here! Ant! Okay, I agree to raise your pay. Ant!
[UPBEAT BANJO MUSIC. CROWD ROARING OVER TOP.]
SUNNY DRAKE: You just heard episode 7 of Climate Change & Other Small Talk, “To Best The Beast””, Written by Krishnee Bhotooa, Directed by Ashish Beesoondial
And if you want to best the beast of climate change by becoming active in movements, you can visit our Take Action page at climate change and other small talk dot com. We have a newsletter that is free to subscribe to, which dives into each episode.
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Next up, we’re heading to an Indigenous community in the interior of British Columbia, in rural Canada. We’ll join Win and his grandmother who’ve been living in a temporary camp after their community was flooded:
WIN: You think kids will still play outside when we can charge our phones so easy again? Watch TV?
MUMS: I do. I think this time has changed us forever. So that maybe we're ready.
WIN: For what?
MUMS: This rebuilt community. Which is actually based on old ways. Now, though, the version of those old things are real fancy. White hippie fancy. We'll have those windmills and sun panels for electricity. And we'd all have gardens and be smart about things. We won't even need a dump or anything. We'd always be making new things out of old things. Like back in my Gramsey's day.
SUNNY DRAKE: We can all learn a lot from our next stop, listening to Ride or Die by Tara Beagan
Today’s episode, “To Best The Beast””, starred:
Yakshinee Purhooa as Tortoise
Sonia Maissin as Mrs Peahen
Ashish Beesoondial as ant
and Estelle Lasémillante as Mayor Toad
Sound design, audio mixing and recording engineer Kooshal Dwarka
Additional audio mixing by Richard Feren
Episode produced by Caudan Arts Centre with support from Sunny Drake Productions
And the series Climate Change & Other Small Talk is:
Created by me, Sunny Drake
Produced by Sunny Drake Productions in association with Why Not Theatre
Lead Producers: Fanny Martin and Najla Nubyanluv
Concept Dramaturg: Kevin Matthew Wong
Impact Producer & Climate Dramaturg: Chaprece Henry
Communications Producer: Daniela Gerstmann
Central Audio Producers: Heather Brown & Richard Feren
Special thanks to our series funding bodies: Canada Council for the Arts, Toronto Arts Council and Ontario Arts Council. And to so many others who you can check out on the website. It truly does take a village to raise a podcast.
I’m looking forward to sharing our next episode with you, and in the meantime, I hope to see you on our website and newsletter, climate change and other small talk dot com. That’s climate change A-N-D other small talk dot com. Thanks for listening!